Manchester United mid-fielder and offical wimp and cheat, Christiano Ronaldo, nearly got ran over by a rogue potatoe bin today. Ronaldo, who played for Portugul in the World Cup, was shopping in the Hanforth Dean branch of Tescos, was nearly hit by a run away potatoe bin in the vegetables aisle. It was initially thought that the bin escaped and accelerated down the small slope, however rumor quickly began to spread though staff that infact the bin had been pushed. After a small amount of investigation I found Lee Bennett, an ardent Stockport County and England fan. I asked him whether he pushed the bin?
"Yes it was me."
What drove you to do it?
"The stupid thing he did in the world cup to put england out, and i didnt like his puffish ways in the first place."
Any regrets?
"No way!"
"Should have pushed harder though.
Christiano Ranaldo has been unavailable for comment.
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